Wanderings

today started off with a delicious breakfast: eggs and chorizo sausage, 2 whole-wheat pancakes with berries on top, and coffee with soy milk. Something I never would have allowed myself before, but was sweet and filling and nurturing. One of the girls in my dorm joined me and it was actually quite pleasant. Then a fruitful session at the psychologist where we discussed my compulsions. Then the gym- they have spinning videos that you can put on the tv in the spinning room, so thats what I did- 45 minutes. I decided not to put myself through anything else since I had been walking everywhere as well, so I sat in the steam room and headed back to Wellesley, feeling good. 

I was so happy to see that they were having beef and chili and vegan rice dish fajitas at my favorite dining hall- it was exactly what my body wanted and I had a feast. I noticed I still wasn't full, and got hungry again an hour later- but I also realized that I ended up having a smaller dinner, just a bowl of chickpea/veggie mix and rice. So maybe when I exercise a lot during the morning, it just means I'll be extra hungry throughout the afternoon... but I'll stabilize in the evening, which might be a good change from exercising a lot in the afternoon, and then being continuously hungry at night (which used to be the case). It's all a learning process. 

So I lay on my floor for a little while in the PM (I can't tell you the satisfaction I get from retreating to my cozy room, taking off my shoes, and just sprawling in front of the computer- and surfing the internet for bits and bytes of fluffy entertainment- it's the opposite of manic mode, when I can't stop drawing and writing and organizing or even reading. Anyway.) and ate a a blueberry muffin leftover from breakfast, and then went to meet with director of Res. life since I'm now the RA... then met with art history advisor (my young hip professor, I can't decide whether she intimidates me with her pulled-together coolness, or whether I feel sorry for her not being able to let her spirit loose), and followed that by going to the art history chair with a form for him to sign. He was so excited to see me that he gave me a hug! Then we chatted for the next forty minutes, which made me exactly thirty minutes late for my guitar lesson. I think I'm officially the slacker of the class. Then I had ten minutes to grab my chickpea dinner before heading back here for my second guitar lesson, which is always quite the brain drain since he quizzes me on all kinds of chords and notes and mathematical sounding things that he seems to think I know something about. And I perpetually feel like an idiot. Anyway, finally I had some time free after that to clean my room, and then we had an all-house meeting where I felt like an idiot some more since I am officially the youngest person by about 10 years, yet am still somehow in charge. And everyone made me feel very aware of that. I hate trying to articulate my thoughts in front of groups! I don't know why it is such a difficulty! But I can do entertaining, of course, so by the end of the meeting everyone was laughing and having a grand old time. We wrapped up our discussion with a word about illegal substances, and I said that if anyone needed a substance-free way to get high, I knew a few good breathing techniques. Which is quite true. I think I might have a workshop. Finally, a few of us sat around having chamomile tea and honey (in the rough) and now I am quite, quite ready for bed. But first I will need to read some Hemingway. Right now, I feel very good about this semester!