So. I decided life was getting a little un-fulfilling. And before I knew it, I was headed west for the Taconic Parkway in Adelaide, Albert the stuffed gorilla in the passenger seat, jester hat and glittery wig and cowboy boots in the back. I rolled up on Omega campus amid a rainstorm and it didn't take ten minutes for the Universe (who I had been trying to renounce, in favor of Rational Decision Making) to start working its magic. Betsy and Wetsy were re-united and took their first real trip together into the outside world. Guiness and various snacks were obtained. A rampage ensued, followed by various empowering walks, and a general freaking-out of the rest of the campus with their collective energy. Those who have been previously exposed to/harassed by the natural phenomenon either kept their distance or approached tentatively, working up a gradual tolerance. This technique has been best mastered by soul brother Brandon/Frodo, who was a surprisingly good sport about the decision that he is going to be Betsy and Wetsy's egg donor/surrogate in a future life. Betsy and Wetsy plan to be Miami-based Latino lovers named Ricardo and Luis, who live in a decrepit area and think a baby will bring the joy they lack. Enter Fabrizio (Melissa in this current life), a philandering Italian, and his sweet, adoring spouse, Brandon/Frodo/Italian name pending.
Fabrizio was pushed by his parents into the marriage, and soon had to take his new wife to America once he got a high-paying business job in Oklahoma. His new office is filled with temptation in the form of young, nubile blondes, not to mention the cheerleading squad who practices across the street. Throw in the fact that Frodo/Brandon/Italian name pending wife is letting herself go a little, what with her penchant for baked goods, and, well. The cheerleading coach who is the reincarnated soul of our friend Patty just turns a blind eye.
Meanwhile, Ricardo and Luis are unsatisfied with life in Miami. Ricardo works at a spa and Luis at a car dealership, and they go out clubbing Thursday through Monday. They have some gay Latino friends and are also quite fond of their next door neighbor, an old, wise, black woman from Alabama who invites them in for tea and grits and corn-pone and deep conversation about their lives. Her incarnation will be played by this life's Monique. Monique has a seventeen year old grandson, played by this life's Isobel Sweetland, who will be stunning with a ripped physique, who both Ricardo and Luis have a shameless crush on. Later, when they hire a nanny (Alex B) for their egg-donated baby, they get horribly jealous over the fact that Alex and Isobel, nanny and grandson, hit it off. So they fire Alex and hire a manny, played by, I THINK, Hassan.
Anyhoo, back in Oklahoma, the Brandon/Frodo/Italian woman character has grown increasingly unhappy in her marriage, and all the silk robes and cannolis in the world cannot make up for the fact that he is philandering. The plan for egg surrogacy is an attempt to obtain enough money so he/she can officially separate from and move far from Fabrizio. A brief visit to meet Ricardo and Luis turns into an extended stay, in which the men take her shopping and clubbing and in return she cooks them delicious pastries (although this causes gym rat Ricardo to agonize over getting fat). The only problem is, B/F/I meets some friends who will eventually lead her down the slippery slope to drug addiction. Which explains why the baby housed in her womb for nine months is actually the soul of Bob Maintenance.
So that's the news of the future life of Betsy and Wetsy, and now we are working out a future life after that, which will take place in the past. The only detail we have sorted out so far is that Nate will be a eunuch. So, that's a start.
Last night Betsy and Wetsy went for an empowering walk around the lake in full regalia. They had empowering conversations, ate empowering food, and then settled in for a nice evening of devotional chant to their favorite deities. You can check out the videos here, and here, and stay tuned for the blog/book/national bestseller, "Bingeing with the Buddha."
BE BELLIGERENT.
Love, Betsy and Wetsy
P.S. Is it binging, or bingeing? Both look weird.
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