Rolling in the Deep

Today was an absolutely faboo day. I had a day off from work and it was raining and cozy inside, and I stayed in my pajamas until about 3. I felt almost guilty, like I was playing hooky from school... probably because it was a weekday and work called to see if I could come to fill in for someone. But that was the last thing I wanted to do, and I hadn't had a soul-nurturing day in forever. So I told them I was busy, and I played all day... I designed our album cover...

and edited videos of us in the studio, and plotted and planned, and shot this video of me boogie-ing to my favorite song of the moment, "Rolling in the Deep." 

I still feel guilty. Probably because I am momentarily broke before my paychecks come in, and I am stressed over what is the path to take to achieving the sort of success I want. Is it to play by the rules of the "real world," and earn enough money to be secure, and THEN do what with your leftover time and energy you have? Or is it to insist on your own path and take the risks involved? I guess that in going back to work, I realized that I miss materials, stability, financial security. It's something I've never really created for myself. But in walking this sort of tightrope, the after-college independent limbo, you are forced to see what your values are. And mine are definitely being able to have days like today, where I get to just PLAY like I did when I was nine- the results not so important as the letting my spirit come out and be nurtured. But I also like to own lots of shiny things to wear and play with. 

But, thinking about this further, this year of being "broke" has actually been the most rich experience I've had in a very long time! And yes, I was going to use that adjective before I even realized the pun involved. It has forced me to ride things out and be patient and employ new ways of thinking about things- ways of thinking that never would have had the time to develop before, because I had the luxury to act on impulse. I could buy a bunch of food and binge on it and then purge. I could go shopping and buy a lot of things to make me feel better- trinkets and doo-dads to momentarily add some sparkle, some attraction, before everything faded again. Wow. Going into this blog I didn't expect this at all, but I am happy to see that through writing I am reminding myself of the big learning experience of this year, which has been finding balance in learning to live with less. To accept the situation right in front of me as is, and, hopefully, grow from it. 

Domestic Goddess

So, I'm back in the house where I did the sublet before where there was the guy who called me evil for refrigerating a tomato. Actually, I'm subletting FROM the guy who called me evil for refrigerating a tomato. It's a long story, but basically the day after I became desperate to sublet again, I was walking through a Berkeley park in the middle of the night going to visit a friend, and another person was walking through the park and it was the guy who I subletted from the first time, and we got to talking and he told me his roommate was leaving and the next day the check was paid. This is how my life works, and I rather like it.

So here I am again and last night I cooked pasta and it was a big huge deal in my mind, such a huge deal that I almost started an entire blog called "Domestic Goddess" where I would make something every night and then write about it. Typical! I'm glad some sequence of online events stopped me from doing it. We all know there would be about one post. And we all also know that the last thing I need is another blog.

But anyway, here's me eating spaghetti/hummus/tomato sauce mash with a spoon.

That's all. 

Liz O Show Live at Submission!

What a pleasant surprise that my friend Carl captured me singing one of my favorite songs, Adelaide, at our first show! The song is about my car, by the way. I miss you, Adelaide!

Point Reyes

Yesterday my friend Isobel and I went on a soul-nurturing jaunt to Point Reyes in Marin County, where we basked in the sun and wind and talked about art and life and wrote a message in a bottle and cast it out to sea.

My Dearest Filbertine, 
It has been three months since our torrid night off the coast of Point Reyes. I can still hear your wild cries echoing through the chambers of my heart. They torture me in those quiet moments between waking and seep, when I dream I can still feel your pearly alabaster skin on mine. I can only hope that the swarthy stranger who swept you into the seas (on a boat) is worthy of your tender embrace. 

May he and his tin-can of an apparatus (I'm talking about the boat again) be plundered* like the way you both plundered my heart. If you ever want to retrieve the skimpy underthing which you so brazenly left in my possession, I will be awaiting your arrival with equal parts lust and resentment. 
Just sound the foghorn three times before approaching the lighthouse. 


Your ever-loving
(and also resentful)
Hamilton Sedgwick III, Esq. 

More Trickery at the Bohemian Ballroom!

Two weeks ago we had another Trickster Salon, with the theme "Bohemian Ballroom," and I sold greeting cards and made new friends and showed this elephant, who everyone thought looked sad but I thought was just overwhelmed with possibilities, yet optimistic for things to come.