
Our second group transit took place on January 16th, to the Trickster Arts Salon with the theme of "Juke-Joint at the Crossroads." Our merry band of three was comprised this time of me, Luke, and Jen Tillman, an incarnate fairy if there ever was one. We were all in good spirits and no one was rushed or belligerent, and we regaled Jen with the story of Buzz Brooks and his Cab Cabaret on the way down to the Powell Bart station.
"Thank God we can just take the subway over this time," we said.
The first thing I saw once we got on the train was an ex-colleague of mine from fundraising for the San Francisco ballet. He had always struck me as a little off, and now he seemed very off, wearing sunglasses on the train and speaking loudly on his cell phone about all the injustices San Francisco had done him over the past few months.
"Not in New York," he kept saying. "In New York they would never..." blah blah blah and this and that and I tried not to listen or care because I only wanted to think about merriment and trickery.
Our train hadn't moved after about ten minutes of sitting there, and people kept piling on. Those of us who had been there a while started to exchange questioning looks from time to time.
"Oh, WHAT is going ON?!" My ex-colleague from the ballet moaned to the general public, before continuing into his phone, "See, this is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The public transportation system. Oh, just get me OUT of here!"
I wanted to get him out of there too. Jen and Luke and I tried to make the most of the situation. I offered people around us the chance to buy my greeting cards, which I was carrying in a box to sell at the salon. They all politely declined. We then started playing a game in which you find the commonality between two very different things; bowler hats and airplanes, for example.
"British, and British airways!" Luke finally said. I didn't feel particularly inspired by the game, but I played along anyway.
"Clowns, and warthogs," I said, and that stumped the group for a while.
"Both can be hams?" We finally heard a woman behind us venture.
"Yes!" We all said, and giggled, before we were interrupted by an intercom announcement.
"Sorry, folks, for the delay... there's been a security incident that we are checking out. We'll be moving along in another ten to fifteen minutes," the intercom announced.
"Ohhhhhhh," the moan of my ex-colleague stood out over all the others. "This would NEVER happen in New York!"
He then tried to engage Luke in a comparison of the two cities, but Luke, despite being a steadfast Long Islander, politely declined the invitation.
So we stood in quiet desperation, and thought up more games, and considered dancing a jig or something to make the most of the bowler hats and boas we were sporting. The police went by and gave a suspicious glance into the interior of the car. More people piled onto the train.
"Ohhhhh.... I feel like we're going to DIE on here!" The ex-colleague from the ballet whimpered.
And finally, we began to move. Everyone smiled at each other with over-exaggerated sighs of relief. We made it all the way to the next stop, and then we didn't move again.
After five or so minutes, another intercom announcement came through the train.
"I'm sorry, folks, but there's been a medical emergency," the announcement said. "We're going to need to wait here while we take care of the problem. Thank you for your patience."
The last part of the announcement was inapplicable to the ex-colleague from the ballet, who was already huffing and puffing loud "Excuse me's!" as he forced his way out of the car. The last thing we heard as he trundled to the escalator, still on his phone, was, "That's it! I'm moving back to New York within the month!" He will be sorely missed.
So that was a nice change of atmosphere within the train car, and made the waiting a little more bearable. After ten minutes or so, a pair of paramedics shuffled by and popped their head in.
"Anyone need medical attention?" They asked, rather hopefully.
We all exchanged bewildered looks, then looked back and shook our heads, no.
They shrugged and moved on to the next car.
"I'm sensing a theme here," I said to the man next to me. "What do you think will be at the next station? Bandits? A live tiger?"
Jen, meanwhile, was contemplating something, looking our ensembles up and down.
"You guys," she whispered. "I think this might actually be our fault."
I thought about it. I thought about Buzz Brooks and his cab cabaret. I thought about our bowler hats and cowboy boots and glittery feather boas. I thought about how the theme of the salon this time was "The Crossroads." And when we finally jerked into motion, but the intercom had one final announcement to make,
"Attention all passengers. This train will be turning around after 24th Street. This will become a Richmond-bound train. All passengers continuing on past 24th Street, please transfer at the next platform. Arriving at Mission 24th Street, the final destination of this train."
I nodded solemnly to Jen.
"I think you may very well be right."