I'm a big fan of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Road trip planning has led to enthusiastic re-researching of her life so I can make sure to see some of the places I so vividly imagined while reading her books as a child. But I am slightly disillusioned to find out that SHE NEVER LIVED ON PLUM CREEK. There might not even BE a Plum Creek, much less a home that was ever dug out on the banks of it. And that was my favorite book of all, although maybe tied with the one where Almanzo courts her in his horse and buggy. AND the one where they live in the Big Woods, which is in Pepin, Wisconsin, which exists, and which I will go to to pay homage.

New vision taking shape, one that has always been there in my heart, one that pulls together all the very many different realms of my creativity and interests. The challenge, however, with this vision, is that involves patience, and sustainability, and not freaking out and running away. But the Universe is telling me I'm ready to build. The album was not the be all end all I made it out to be. It was just a brick in the foundation. And a huge, necessary learning experience. So, feeling better, and feeling the craving to head up this new path into unknown territory. The territory of balance and being grounded in my body and learning business. I don't like any of those things. And that's why I have to take the path. :)

 

Hello! What a day. Today was a day was a day. I didn't think it was going to be that sort of day. I thought it was going to be a medium sort of day. But first thing that happened is that I went to Whole Foods, and I got all caught up in reading the Origins magazine with Alanis Morissette on the cover. It was exciting. I wrote about it in my last post. It was exciting because I felt like I knew everybody in the magazine. They are people I've met. Friends of mine. People who have had a direct impact on my life. And THEY all know each other. I don't know how to explain it, but it was cool. It was life-changing. I realized- I want to be- and am already sort of making my way into becoming- that crowd. NOT the Hollywood crowd. The "conscious" culture. Which can be cheesy in its own way at times, but is still, in general, the place where one would want to be. 

And THEN I flipped a page and saw that ALANIS MORISSETTE, ANI DIFRANCO, AND EVE ENSLER are all going to be at the same workshop in Colorado in October and I got really excited and didn't know how quite to handle that information because I wish I could go. They are three of my idols. I want to be doing what they are doing and have done in the world. 

So then I was all in a tizzy about that. And thinking excited, grandiose thoughts. And then I went to what I thought was going to be Kirtan at the Palace of Fine Arts Theatre, only it wasn't, because it's a month from now. 

Only I didn't know it was a month from now, because I double-checked every detail except the date, and so I went stomping around in typical fashion, getting increasingly grumpy, and spiraling into despair as I circled the premises without finding any sort of life or concert-ing going on. 

I was hungry, I was cold, it was windy, and I had geared my entire day around this event, only to have it not, actually, happen. I walked, not towards where I had caught the bus, but towards the ocean, thinking that I could maybe at least find some nice ocean-side cafe with coffee and snacks to make me feel better. 

But there was no such thing to be found, just the ocean, and more wind and cold, and I walked along it, thinking disgruntled thoughts to myself. 

The Universe is inundating me with loving guidance, and I am listening. I used to be obsessed with celebrity culture. I wanted to be Katy Perry. Which is a purely ego, not heart path. I used to read celebrity magazines as a guilty pleasure, but the stories are stale and ridiculous and there's no way I would ever even be able to stand being in that world.

The past three months have been such a turning point, and I've begun to identify new role models and value. For example, Alanis Morissette. I picked up THIS magazine at Whole Foods today, about "the conscious culture," and as I read through it I realized that after all this time in San Francisco and at the Omega Institute, I know half the people who are in the magazine. I've met them, hugged them, danced to their music, been to their workshops, had conversations, developed friendships. In essence, I'm already a part of that world. Not only in knowing it but in resonating with the same values. So anyway, that seemed like the Universe giving me a loving knock on the head. Stop striving for something that's not realistic, and which would never suit you, anyway. You're already here. You're already where you're supposed to be.

:) And on that note, I'm off to a Kirtan/Seva at the Palace of Fine Arts with Jai Uttal, Snatam Kaur, and emceed by none other than Wavy Gravy! In two weeks I go to Shaktifest in the Joshua Tree Desert. To continue the path I started with the very teachers and trailblazers featured in this magazine. Transmuting the anger, healing, shaking it out, making it beautiful. Jai Bhagwan!

 

This is Lalita, a Hindu gopi. 

Lalita is known for her playfulness, charm, and pure, loving rage. : )

Special Talents:
(1) The leader of all the sakhis of Srimati Radharani
(2) Very magnanimous like her father
(3) The instigator of most pastimes
(4) Always displays contrariness to Krsna's suggestions
(5) Frequently becomes angry and speaks outrageously insolent retorts to
increase the intensity of the loving affairs between Radha & Krsna.
(6) Brilliant in composing and and understanding riddles
(7) Unparalleled in fashioning things with flowers including awnings,
dancing arenas, umbrellas, couches, bowers
(8) Expert in performing magic tricks and juggling.